life has just decided to get on top of me. i hate the idea that my whole life is gonna depend on the actions i make in the next year. i dont like the thought of upseting the people i love and i dont like the idea of being pressured to do something. im not sure whether to go to university in 2006 or not to ever. i hate the idea of stayin education for an extra three years. but i want to have a career. life is so confusing a shit. i wish money wasnt a problem and i had no ties, i want to be able to anything i want and have no worries. i also have to much college work to do. and if i want to go to uni ive got to start getting distinctions and merits in my work. i would like to make my parents proud but i know they arnt expecting much of me anyway.

if anyone is good at analysing dreams please help! i had the worst dream ever last night! my 2 year old brother leon got killed by a dog. in my dream i was locked in my dads house in france. i was being held in there by a crazy man. i was looking after my 4 year old brother koban and we were just crying about leon. it was so horrible. does any one know what this means?

all i needed was time and life just seemed easier. things were clearer and i knew what i wanted in my head and how to get it. i would be ok if people didnt doubt me, or put doubt into my mind.

do u guys realize how shit england is. its makes me feel suicidal. get out. get out while you still can. blergh!!!!